


Deputy McCallister

by Villains_Refuge



Series: Writing Requests [11]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Bodily Harm, Cussing, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Improvised weapons, brotherly bonding through traps, homemade traps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 18:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15297429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Villains_Refuge/pseuds/Villains_Refuge
Summary: Never walk into a house you weren't invited in.





	Deputy McCallister

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked: Heyyy I’m so excited that you’ve opened up prompts! I love u ❤️❤️ my request is that you do a story where the seed bros are trying to kidnap rook to take her back to Edens gate with them....but she’s a little more devious than she seems

“Did I mention this is fucking stupid?”

Jacob sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time. “Yes, John, you-!”

“Because this is by far the stupidest thing that could have happened!” Jacob closed his eyes to try and will out his little brother’s complaining. How many traps had this been now? Seven? He groaned at the thought, as he wiped the paint from his face.

This really was getting ridiculous. Honestly.

“When did they even find the time!?” Jacob didn’t want to think about that right now. His little brother could screech and moan about his coat and hair all he wanted, it didn’t change that the deputy was making a fool out of them. With traps.

Literal. Homemade. Traps.

Jacob carefully scanned each panel and corner as he walked, pistol out but finger off the trigger. He tried to pinpoint any possible disturbance, actually finding a few minor ones that seemed like spring loaded launchers. As he looked over a few of the traps, particularly a barely visible fishing wire rigged nail gun, Jacob couldn’t deny that the traps were…creative.

He hated to admit it but he would give the deputy credit when where credit was due, these traps were serving their purpose excellently.

John; however, didn’t follow Jacob’s example of careful treading and watchful eyes. He took things and threw them around, paid little attention to where he walked. Jacob shouted for him to be careful unless he wanted another paint bucket dropped on his head but John brushed him off.

There was no way the deputy spent time booby trapping the whole house, there just wasn’t! But as he charged up the stairs, the audible click hitting his ears far too late, he learned just how wrong he was.

John watched as a barrel toppled over, golden brown liquid oozing out in a thick, heavy flow. He should have stayed still. He should have just grabbed the damn railing and steadied himself. But his body reacted before his mind could stop him. Running on instinct he ran forward to try and out maneuver the mess, the first step unabated by the oil only for his second to land right in the epicenter of the downpour.

A resounding “Shit!” echoed throughout the home and a booming thud from his body shortly after. His hand thrusting out to catch himself only resulting in continued humiliation as his body tumbled and slid cartoonishly down the stairs. The yelp of shock as he hit the wall alerting his big brother across the way.

Jacob rounded the corner just as his brother crashed into the wall. The amused chuckle that escaped him did little to comfort John’s bruised ego.

“When I find that deputy…”

A hand reached down to him, “We take them back to Joseph like we planned.” With a careful tug Jacob helped him up and out of the oil. The wooden floors were a nightmare with John’s soiled shoes. The soles, still slick with oil, found no traction and sent him skidding along the floor each time he took a step.

As Jacob laughed again, John shot him a glare. “This isn’t funny!” but the older man just shook his head.

“It really is, but we need to find the deputy and get out of here before something really stupid happens.” John couldn’t agree more.

They searched the rest of the home with extreme caution. Trap after trap after trap found and disabled, some still getting triggered as a result of the disabling. By the time they made it to the back door, their battle scars were showing in bright detail. Bruises, burns, welts. The two Seeds had all sorts covering them and no deputy to show for it. It was clear, now, that the house was a decoy and they would have to start over.

John all but kicked the door open with a heavy string of curses and threats, barely leaving enough space for Jacob to move passed him while he threw his tantrum. He shushed his angry sibling, a noise from above pulling his attention away. John grumbled for being shushed but as the noise grew louder both the brothers froze.

“Is that…gas?” John barely got the question out before Jacob pushed him passed the doorway. The house erupted into a ball of flames, catching the oil from before in a devastating display of natural power.

Jacob, who dove out of the way of the surging flame, laid on the floor, a slight chuckle in his breath. John stood beside him, hands on his knees, panting.

“I hate this fucking county.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

Rook watched from a far off deer blind. Binoculars pressed to their smirking face to safely watch the Seed brothers fall prey to the trap ridden home. It was quite the sight. Jacob handled it as well as expect but John? Oh John. They felt a little bad.

Okay pretty bad.

Once the flames went up they crawled down the blind and called to their loyal hound, “C’mon Boomer! We have another house to set up!.” A hearty woof came from the pup and as the door to the cab of the truck opened, hopping right in so his owner could drive away.


End file.
